A Little Part of Me

neddy

pt. vii

Grade School

March 2013

 

Grade school..

as if being at home wasn’t torture enough for her.

Living with a man that studied a bottle every second

& every minute he had a harsh lesson to give out..

almost every night

& every day,

grade school was in

& when it was time to play

she ran from her classmates-

they couldn’t understand her

in her solitude always quiet & lonely…

as if being sad were a felony-

yes, the kids never understood her.

They would never know that at home she couldn’t sleep

so in grade school she would sneak in a nap-

short, interrupted with the slap of the teacher’s mouth

while all the other kids would laugh

as she wiped drool from her lip..

& despite her blatant intelligence

her teacher never questioned it

when every paper she turned in

turned out a flat “F”

failure..

because she has ragged clothes & puffy eyes,

a little girl with a white trash disguise-

what teacher would’ve even tried anyway?

They even used one of her papers on “no-no day”

to show other kids what NOT to do..

no one knew she didn’t have anything

so her mom printed that paper in the library and said

“Turn this in baby”

Because mother knew if she brought home another “F”

the man wouldn’t accept it-

he would throw a fit

& fit throwing he did…

But no one knew this…

so her days in grade school kept on like this:

getting bullied at school

getting beat down at home.

& no one ever asked the little girl

“What’s wrong?”

A Little Part of Me

1497143558427pt. vi

More Than Butterflies

August 2016

 

a smile finds it’s way to my face

as my mind takes a walk with you.

count all the things in this world to wonder about,

I mostly wonder of you…

how many tears have you held,

and what of the ones you let slip to the floor?

the number of lovers you’ve had,

number of kisses,

scars,

heartbreaks,

sores?

I wonder what you wonder.

I picture my face kissing yours-

my heart takes off!

and crashes like waves on every bank, coast, seaside, shore!

my blood is a river at light speed-

and in your eyes (in my mind)

I have found the universe, happiness and everything.

I have battled every muscle,

every instinct

but love is the most brilliant warrior of us all.

I have lost and in return I am amazed, triumphant.

I am more than a storm

I am mist.

and you light my infinite intricate water-droplets

with more colors than the sun brings the Earth!

I wonder if you see this too.

yes, you make me feel more wondrous than the Northern Lights!

like I am floating with the birds-dancing down Victoria Falls!

you have taken my body and thrown me into a beautiful pit of love and terror-

and, I? ..am hang-gliding

underwater

and I am soaring through the Great Barrier Reef.

with you..

I wonder if you feel this, too.

A Little Part of Me

live

pt. v

Feel

September 2014

 

pause-

breathe in the fruitful air.

fill your lungs with power-

exhale…

feel the atmosphere consume you,

to pry open your mind, your spirit.

in hopes that your heart will soften,

just as Earth’s soil under rain.

so that you may feel pain, emptiness, sorrow, despair, anger and more.

and soften again to embrace love, happiness, kindness, tranquility and curiosity.

Live on,

Live free.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

A Little Part of Me

bridgebw.JPGpt. iv

Hunted, Found, Haunted

November 2015

 

every drop falls surely to the mossy floor.

a creek made each side of my face;

(never mistake a creek for a river, no..)

a river would prove an angry heart.

I bring my eyes from the comfort of soil

looking to you..

seeing someone who is you, yet they are not and could never be.

I study your eyes,

no pain..

no sign of remorse.

any vine you touch turns to poison,

any flower wilt…

and you see me, the final flower around all.

I know my fate, a sentence that will end before the predicate.

yet, I beg your hands-

wrap me up,

end me now.

and I hope as you come closer

my tears will urge you to drink,

to feel the power of love again,

for only a moment..

before we turn to dust

for the Earth to consume,

the universe to remember our glowing affection,

and to forget our dark despair.

 

 

Tales of The Americants

atl4

Sneak a look

Into her icy eyes

Read her as a book;

World sees her as a crook..

 

By day by night

The screams she fights inside

You can tell

Even in her dreams she’s in hell-

 

Like an old sold maid

Crawling through every day

Getting fucked-

Getting chucked to the side

On pavement she lay

Feelings fried.

She’ll even confess how dead she is inside.

 

Why?- no shame

No need to hide

Because society condemns the grass

Without even checking the other side!

 

So find her eyes.

& if you can read her story

Try not to cry.

Remember your glory

But don’t let it form you

Into one who can only see the cover.

 

Be one of us-

Help fight these drugs!

This pain that people feel..

We are the heartbreak-healers

The underdog-cheerleaders

The old-SOULED woman?

We see her as human

Not vermin!

No!

 

We yield love and patience-

Yes, bring on your nation’s

Finest “5-star” dynasts-

This loyalty to “royalty”

While children are dying

Of hunger-from hate.

Born into turmoil:

Nothing on their plates

While some  eat only to throw it away!

What the fuck is this place?

 

The earth

She gave birth

To the human race

Only for us to create a space

Where the value of life

Is based on a price?

 

Paper stressing-

Depressing- suicide takes flight.

Yeah we kill each other,

Don’t even know why-

Some evil, some ordered

At times a murderer gets quarters

For a slaughter..

A person becomes a monster.

A daughter has no father.

 

But wait-

Find the girl

who’s mother is an addict.

Tell  her not to quarrel with mom, its tragic

To watch the poison damage

 

Millions of families..

Choked down throats

And young folk

Eating xannies-

 

How could she manage?

Whenever one sees her face

(even the mirror)

They see her mother.

Her holding the burden,

A constant reminder

Of the hole in everyone’s heart.

All because

“the woman couldn’t keep it apart”

 

Yes, a mental illness

Steals from someone,

We don’t understand

So the deal is

“hush-hush”.

 

Turn the corner-

You’ll see first hand

That when the law finds

A black man

It strikes him with fear

In his head.

 

His heart beats faster,

He listens to the master

And somehow he’s still dead???

FUCK THAT!

 

Can anyone hear us?

We’re screaming it clearer:

“THIS GOVERNMENT IS WACK!”

 

A twisted game of sexual play-

An eight year old girl

Sold to a bed where she lay-unconscious

For your leaders to stay

Loaded with currency..

The journalist knows too much

He died suddenly.

These are the ones

We let lead our country?

 

We need to discuss

A new way of thinking.

A revolution from US,

Politics is drowning-

Who can WE trust?

Pull the villains

To the dungeons

Find a new peace of mind-

But save your bullets

If you must..

 

Only because this has to change.

This needs to change.

We are the change.

A Little Part of Me

bbbbb

pt. iii

A Letter for Anyone that will Listen

February 2016

 

this is for you today,

whether the skies are grey-

if you’re high, sober, gay,

“normal”, straight.

even for the weirdos, pedophiles, arsonists,

and lames!

the losers, users, abusers,

ones with no shame.

it’s for the religious, the hypocrites,

the cheaters, thieves, the healers-

the politicians, the hippies, the nerds

and the cheerleaders!

for the homeless, the reckless,

a daughter who’s “too protected”-

the bullied and the bullies.

the bench-warmers and the follies.

for the ones brave enough to even be them!

for anyone alive-for all who are dead-yes!

THIS IS FOR YOU! :

life is short, but death is not.

A Little Part of Me

omggskypt. ii

Toxic River Foolish Mountain

January 2014

 

you are a river.

a relentless, roaring river-

and I mountain.

you’ve eroded me,

sliced into my soil

disturbed my rocks-my roots.

my valley is damp

my flowers gone..

washed away in your (stolen) mineral rich liquid.

I suppose you carry pieces of me

into the ocean..

or maybe I haven’t made it so far..

just promise

wherever you are rushing me towards..

promise that I will not wash up along your bank

waiting for the rain to beat me back into you.

A Little Part of Me

pt.i
Tunnels of Turmoil
June 2016

allow me to break open your veins & watch
as the velvet river flows from your fragile human body…
I wish to fill a cup with your heart’s dearest
& swallow all of your pain.
take me to the place where you were deeper than depression
hiding suicide under your bed-
smothering the ones you love with terrible lies..that you are “okay”..
the most heavy-hearted sin to keep!
SHOW ME!
let me pull the tapeworm out of you
he is doing your soul harm!
filling you with wicked thoughts..
this terrible worm-
this demon creature!
exterminate the tunnels of hate eaten into you..
or-watch yourself crumble at it’s will.
hurling you to a pit of darkness..the depth of self death..
only to be carried away in a wooden box
that will rot in the earth.
giving your carcass up to the worms again..
…this time forever.

I need you to know..I want you to live.